hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at about main and main street
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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