I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
