He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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