Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people