how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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