u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.