Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight

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  (313): It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight http://tfl.nu/fbzk
  Replies (1) Good night (1415) Bad night (1453)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?

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  (808): Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show? http://tfl.nu/1sfk
  Replies (2) Good night (946) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You can't wash away shame.

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  I can try.

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  (781): You can't wash away shame. (1-781): I can try. http://tfl.nu/os07
  Replies (8) Good night (1318) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.

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  (972): Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition. http://tfl.nu/d2b2
  Replies (20) Good night (2433) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays

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  (615): I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays http://tfl.nu/4zqy
  Replies (17) Good night (4329) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.

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  (757): I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home. http://tfl.nu/lnz2
  Replies (23) Good night (1072) Bad night (5577)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.

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  (616): We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks. http://tfl.nu/giz7
  Replies (14) Good night (4803) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta

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  (337): Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta http://tfl.nu/2wvh
  Replies (21) Good night (4451) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.

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  (619): Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this. http://tfl.nu/9259
  Replies (13) Good night (1702) Bad night (1256)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.

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  (707): I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs. http://tfl.nu/fbru
  Replies (9) Good night (3585) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.

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  (812): Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do. (812): Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this. http://tfl.nu/m912
  Replies (10) Good night (1423) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...

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  (309): You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion... http://tfl.nu/v1ex
  Replies (3) Good night (2648) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.

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  (714): I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time. http://tfl.nu/xqih
  Replies (6) Good night (581) Bad night (1434)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.

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  (707): Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend. http://tfl.nu/wf6o
  Replies (6) Good night (953) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?

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  (425): He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions? http://tfl.nu/lmc7
  Replies (2) Good night (580) Bad night (332)

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