omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...