how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
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I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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