So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
