Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
