Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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