I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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