not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
