I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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