She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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