..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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