Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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