I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I have fence marks all over my body
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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