Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize