You're completely useless in the revolution.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
