I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
