I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She needs sedatives and a leash
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize