mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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