So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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