There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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