I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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