I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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