Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible