Your tits are I can't wait for
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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