Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
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my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
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Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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