i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
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if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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