people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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