smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
