I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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