I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
