you win again, gameday.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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