My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
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It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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