You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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