the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
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God, you're like boner-b-gone
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
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New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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