somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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