Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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