Only a mothe r could love this liver
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
