why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
