My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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