a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
one might say we're banned from that church
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
