omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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