There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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