i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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