Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila