Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.