every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.