I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
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Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
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First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.