So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
