apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i just had sex bonerless
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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