As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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